How Just One Word Can Change Your Whole Day

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5:21

It was supposed to be the perfect start to a relaxing summer weekend.

I left the grocery store Friday afternoon with a smile, anticipating a leisurely dinner with friends who were stopping by to visit with Tim and me on their annual trek from Chicago to the Delaware beaches. 

“Oh no!” I gasped, spotting my car in the parking lot. There, glistening in the sun, was my silver sedan — with an unfamiliar, smashed-in driver side corner, bumper hanging from its brackets. 

I ran over to examine the damage. 

There may have been an expletive or two.

Emotions rising, I scanned the windshield for a post-it note, a scrap of paper, any message from the perpetrator who surely would have apologized and left me their contact information.

Nothing.

I walked around the car, checking the windows.

Still nothing.

A hit and run. 

Great. Just great.

“This is terrible! What is wrong with people?!,” I thought, feeling my blood pressure spike with indignation. “Isn’t anybody responsible anymore? Have people really become that oblivious, that selfish?!”  

My heart was beating hard and fast and I could feel my face turning crimson. 

Now, hang on just a second. This was one of those moments where I had a choice, didn’t I? 

1. I could feed the anger, letting those strong emotions run roughshod and ruin my judgment — and maybe even linger on and derail my special evening with my friends.

OR

2.      I could Decide, and choose a different response for a different outcome.

I remembered something that has served me well over the years.

The words we use create emotional impact. 

We can intentionally choose to use different words to

dial emotional intensity up or down.

If you call something “catastrophic,” your body reacts one way. 

Call it “frustrating,” and your nervous system responds far less dramatically. The situation hasn't changed, but your experience of it has.

So I started paying attention to the words I was using — out loud and in my own head. 

I took a deep breath and scanned the crumpled metal again. 

Was this situation really “terrible?” After all, I wasn’t injured. My car could be repaired. I have insurance.

And being stressed, angry and frazzled was not how I wanted to spend the evening with my friends.

What if I chose a less emotionally intense word to dial down the outrage?

“Well,” I said out loud, “this is inconvenient.” 

Almost immediately, my breathing slowed, the red haze lifted, and I felt myself thinking more clearly. 

Just then, a business owner who had noticed me ran outside to ask if I was okay. 

Another shopper picked up my dropped groceries and offered to call the police for me. 

Clearly, one person’s irresponsible actions did not define everyone else on the planet. 

And in an instant, with just one intentional decision, the situation went from "terrible” to “inconvenient.”

Not ideal. But eminently fixable. 

Faith in humanity: Restored.

Stay strong. Stay kind.

With so much love,

Susan

Happiness Practice 

The next time something throws your day off course, pay attention to the words you are using to describe the situation.

Is it catastrophic?

Or is it simply... inconvenient?

What if instead of feeling "miserable," you felt "a little down"? 

What if instead of feeling "worried" or "freaked out," you felt "concerned"

What if, instead of feeling "overwhelmed" or "powerless" you felt “challenged"?

How would a better word change the emotional intensity of the feeling? Would your emotions be dialed up or down?

The happiest, most resilient people know that we can’t always control the situation, but we can always control how we respond to it.

But sometimes that's just really hard to do.

I wrote Decide Happy to share practical tools to help you make that choice more easily at any moment, even on the toughest days.

👉 You can download the first chapter of the book here for free. 📘